There are times in your life that you are stuck and do not know what's next

There are times in your life that you are stuck and do not know what's next - that was part of the sermon last Sunday (yesterday). Well I am almost 6 months here in Germany - land of sausages and beers.

Yes, it is nice to be here. Wonderful to be with my husband. Wonderful to get enough sleeps. Wonderful to be on holidays. Do not have to worry that my phone will ring and I will need to get out from my comfortable bed and get back to work (since I used to be in the support line). I do not have to worry about sitting for another exam or handing in my thesis since I completed my masters two years ago. I do not have to rush for meetings in church or charity works.

Wonderful for the past few months but life is starting to be a bit bored. Sitting around without a clear direction or goal to accomplish is not easy for someone like me. I am task oriented and proud when I achieved my goals... now all I need to do daily is to enjoy myself.. hmm I used to think that it's simple but looks like it's not that simple for me.

It is even more difficult when people ask me what are you doing now? Or when are you starting with your phd? I seriously have no answer. Other than knowing I want to do my phd in software engineering I have no other specific direction. The university here where my husband and I live do not seem to have any opening. Sometimes I doubt if I would ever start and complete my phd. Is phd really that important to me? I think what's more important to me is to be sure that I do not sit around and waste my life. And of course it would be wonderful to have some recognition and achievement along the way.

Anyway here I am stuck... will update you when I get out of this situation... but one thing for sure... having my husband when I am stuck makes things easier.. Thank you Lord.. for this partner.